Monday, June 4, 2012

My real life

It's Monday morning.  In my opinion, there's no better time just to let the true, honest, real life stuff all out!

It's also 6:30am and I've been up for 45 minutes already. 
 The only thing that was saving me was the thought of making a huge glass of iced coffee. 
 I pulled my big, double insulated Tervis knock off out of the cabinet and put it under the ice machine to fill it with crushed ice.  Only, instead of lots of crushed ice coming out...nothing did. 
 That would be the 3rd time this fridge has had issues since we moved in 8 1/2 months ago and of course it would be on a day when I have 6 other people coming to my house for a play date.
Could I rock it old style and fill some ice trays with up?
Of course.
But I'd rather just complain and realize how spoiled I am.

Life right now is flashing before my eyes, but at the same time, some days seem to drag on like years.  Especially those days when Caleb keeps accidentally waking Lorelei up as soon as she drifts off to sleep. 
 He's like a walking bomb. 
 I never know when he will randomly scream or yell...for no apparent reason.  
We have talked to him about trying to be aware of how loud he is being, but he's three and he has way too much energy.  
I also know that 90% of the time he doesn't do it on purpose because as soon as he yells something like "Pooooooooopy Head!!!!!!!!!!!" as loud as he can, he immediately looks at me and says, "Sorry sorry sorry!" because he realizes he was way too loud, and at the point the loudness way over takes the fact that he's using potty language.  
You mama's of 2, 3, and 4 year olds, don't even pretend like yours doesn't love to get a good "pooooooopy head!!!!" yell out every now and then.  
I'm figuring it's something equivalent to when I lock myself in the bathroom every now and then and scream really loud.  
It's quite liberating actually.

Leaving the house is literally like an excursion.
  Getting everyone dressed, fighting with Caleb about his shoes, making sure Lorelei is nice and full, clean clothes and diaper on.  Not to mention all the back up equipment that you have to carry around with you, because you obviously have to be prepared for any and every possible catastrophe. 
As though once we leave our house, we aren't allowed back in.  
That's the kind of mentality us mom's have when we are packing a diaper bag.

Then there's the decision of "Single or double stroller?". Or I should really call them, "Big pain or Biggest Pain?".
 I usually get us all out the door, buckled in the car only to realize it's noon and no one has eaten lunch.  That's when it comes in handy to have a McDonald's within a 1/2 mile.  That way I can get all of us lunch and as I finish my cheeseburger, I'll feel like throwing it back up and I'll swear off McDonald's for the millionth time.

Even just staying at home is overwhelming sometimes.  
I feel as though Lorelei and Caleb collaborate when I leave the room.  I imagine the conversation goes something like this, "Hey Lorelei, Mama looks a little too well rested today.  This is a great day for both of us to be on our absolute worst behavior, okay??? Don't give in no matter how hard she cries...or yells!!!"

Let me just tell you, by the time 6pm rolls around, the sound of the garage door opening and Seth's car pulling in is the like a choir of Angel's singing!  

This is my real life. 

 I love my family, I really really do. 

 I'm trying to enjoy this sweet, little stage of my life and I have lots of moments where I do.  
I love sitting with Caleb and talking to him about all that crazy, imaginative stuff rolling around in his head. 
 I love holding Lorelei on my chest while she sleeps and seeing her first smiles.  
I love being a stay at home mom and I wouldn't trade it for anything. 
I love my husband and how hard he is trying right now to make life easier for all of us and I love that he decided to PT on his lunch break so he could stay later in the mornings and help me get my morning started right, which usually means he feeds Caleb breakfast while I feed Lorelei, and that is a huge help every morning. 
I love that God somehow found it in Him to bless me with two beautiful children and He is trusting me to teach them to be servants of Christ.  What a huge responsibility that is on it's own! 

 I also feel bad for not being able to do as much as I did before with all the friends God has placed in mylife, but I know that my family is most important, so if that means I have to say no more times than yes, than I'm ok with that.

Life isn't perfect.  
This is a super crazy time of life right now and I am trying to survive at the same time I'm trying to figure out this new 2 kid life! 
 It's taking longer than I expected but we are making it, one dirty diaper, one temper tantrum, and lots of prayers at a time ;-)

Anyone feel like me some days?

Happy Monday!


Amy said...

Enjoy it, treasure EVERY little moment...because like everyone says....they grow up WAY too fast! I know. I have 5 kids. And I SO remember those days you are living in right now. But my how the time does fly!! I now have a 23 yr. old LU grad, my second one will be starting her sophmore year at LU in the fall & number will be in his senior year of homeschool, getting ready to head to LU. Not to mention the 15 yr old & my BABY who is now 13. I LOVE being a mom & being home with my kids! There's not a better job or higher calling that I can think of! My prayers are with you!!!!

Expat Girl said...

I am so anxious about the adjustment from one to two children and praying I can get through it!

Meghan Shaffer said...

First of all, thank you so much for posting this!! One of my biggest pet peeves EVER is how everyone always appears so perfect, so Christian, so supermom on their blogs. In fact, I don't read 90% of blogs out there because of it. I am such a picky blog reader. I appreciate it when people take hard times and see the good in them, but I also appreciate people being REAL. Sometimes I read blogs and I feel like crap afterwards because everyone seems so perfect! Drives me bonkers!

Second of all, I have to tell you that it gets easier. I'm sure others have said the same thing, but it is definitely true. Caleb is now 6 months old and my life is MUCH more smoother than when he was a newborn. I had a terribly hard time when Caleb was firstborn. I mean, Chris was in Afghanistan and I was so emotionally messed up! He is still in Afghanistan, but now I am able to be ok with that. (By the way, he comes home this month! YAY!)

Third of all, I know you are such a good mommy and everyone has these phases in life where it is all we can do to keep our heads above water! It will all come together and before you know it you'll be talking about number 3! Haha, I'm just kidding...but only halfway ;)

Wife, Mama, Teacher said...

I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your heart, and being honest! As you know, it hasn't been easy for us either adjusting to life with 2 little ones. Some days I literally look at the clock hundreds of times, counting down minutes until Tristan gets home! I can't tell you how many times I have beat myself up, or even been jealous of other moms because I felt like I wasn't as "good" of a mom as they always seems like other moms have it so together! I just really appreciate you reminding me that no on is perfect, and that although the days are SO very hard and long sometimes, we are blessed beyond measure that God has entrusted us with being the caretakers and examples to our precious little ones, and I wouldn't change it for anything :). You are such an inspiration, and your family is so blessed to have you!

Springmeadows4me said...

I know just how you feel. I remember those days (sometimes I still have them). The bad part was a lot of the time I didn't have David to come home and help!:-0 That's when I thought I would lose my mind! But, enjoy it all. It goes by so fast. Even as they get older there are still hard days they are just different. Have fun with your babies and know I'm praying for you.

Jessa said...

I remember those days with mine. Oy! I don't remember much, but I got through day by day by day by really long night by day. Haha!

Aprille said...

Thanks for writing this. I only have one and a lot of days I feel like this!!!! I love reading "real mom" posts because they make me not feel so crazy or guilty for doing what I have to do to get through a day!!! like commenting on a friend's blog while my poopy-diapered 21 month old is stomping on the kitchen table next to me. :)

Julie Danielle said...

My #1 was 2 years, 2 months when I had #2. I have been there. It was hard when they were both so small. It was SO hard at times. I tell people that now at 7 and 5, having them so close is usually so much fun. They are the best of friends, play together for hours and it is great but it was so very hard when they were younger. It was hard to have this new baby and a toddler and to stay sane. So yes I have been there, it is different for me now and eventually it will be different for you too. Older kids have their own challenges of course but I do think when your kids are so little it can be a lot more emotionally taxing on the mom. Just remember that each day they are a day older and each season in life is different. *hugs*

RookieMom Heather said...

I do that primal scream too. Usually in the bathroom. It freaks my husband out but I think the kids are used to it.

I won't say "enjoy" it like Amy does, but hang in there. It can be moment by moment.

Linzies Photography said...

hey sweet lady! i just read this blog post and love it. You are great with words. I feel like that right now.It is hard getting adjusted to two, well at least for me. It seems like others so graciously handle it. Im sure thats not the case, but it just seems that way. A quote i recently heard says it best.

" The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." Steve Furtick

so true... at least for me.