Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Our last day by ourselves

As many of you know by now...SETH IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
We couldn't be more excited to have our Sethy Poo home (okay, he will kill me when he reads this!)
I got a little emotional Monday night when I realized that it was me and Caleb's last night as just the two of us.  I flashed back to the first days that Seth was gone.  How difficult is was for me when I saw all of the other husbands and daddy's pulling into their driveways at 5:00 pm, heading inside to eat dinner and spend the evening with their families.  Those first few days were tough.  I didn't know where Seth was, if he was safe, if he was lonely.  I wasn't used to not being home to get dinner ready and meet Seth at the door when he came home from work.  I wasn't used to having Caleb by myself 24 hours a day with no break, no 5 o'clock quitting time helper  walking through the door.  I wasn't used to taking the trash out much less taking the trash to the dump!  I had to find someone to mow our lawn because we never had a lawn to mow and didn't own a lawn mower...plus, how do you mow your grass by yourself and watch your 12 month old?  We had just moved to a new town in December and Seth left in February.  At that point, I didn't know anyone well enough to call if I needed something.  I didn't know any babysitters.  I didn't have any one to come over and sit and have coffee with me to help get me through those first few weeks.  It was just God, Caleb and me.  I look back at all kinds of events that have taken place since I married Seth and I am overwhelmed with the fact that all of those events led me to have a deeper relationship with Christ.  I am stubborn and God knows me better than I know myself.  He knew that if I was ever going to learn how to be dependent on Him, He would have allow me to get to the point where I only had Him to rely on...and that's exactly what happened.  I spent many nights laying awake in bed, too afraid to close my eyes because I thought I heard something and then my mind would go crazy with all kinds of terrible "what if's"...and on those nights I would end up drifting off to sleep as I prayed God would watch over us and give me the peace to be able to sleep.  Every night when I laid Caleb down to bed, we would pray that God would give Caleb a peaceful nights sleep, that He would watch over us and help Caleb to grow up to be a strong man who loves and serves God with all of his heart.  The last thing we would pray is that "God be with our daddy. Bring him back soon and safe to us.  Give him the encouragement and the courage that he needs to make it through this deployment."  I write this with tears in my eyes because God is so good to us.  So many of those first days were spent worrying about Seth, so much that I couldn't enjoy my daily life.  I became so exhausted because of all of the worrying I was doing.  One day I decided that it was time to stop worrying about him and time to give him over to God.  I can't even explain to you the peace that overcame me from that moment on.  It was as if God was sitting beside me saying, "I will take care of Seth...no more worrying."  Although I didn't know whether that meant God would bring him home safe to me or not, I knew that God was in control of whatever happened and that His plans are always better than mine.
Caleb and I spent a lot of time traveling.  We went to Virginia several times and we made a huge roadtrip to Texas, stopping in Louisiana on the way.  
We laughed with each other, we fought with each other.  Caleb learned how to throw fits and how to hit...and he also learned how to come and give kisses afterwards when he felt bad.  He took his first steps and said his first words.  We played together, every day.  Caleb overcame his fear of swings and is almost over his fear of dogs.  He slid down his first slide and swam for the first time.  We played cars together, read Goodnight Gorilla more times than I can count and had a zillion play dates at Barnes and Nobles where Caleb also found his love for Thomas the Train.  We found an amazing church with an amazing group of people that would have dropped anything to come and help us if we asked.  We made friends and experienced so many firsts.  We've had ice cream for dinner and pizza for breakfast.  But most of all, we have always known that through all of these "firsts" there was always someone missing.  There are no words to explain how excited I am to have my best friend back and how happy Caleb is to have a daddy again.  God gave Caleb and I these precious months together.  I have learned so much about him that perhaps I would have never learned otherwise.  God has grown all of us tremendously through this deployment and shown us so much.  The biggest lesson I have learned from all of this though is that I know that when I feel as though I have no one else in the world to help me, God is always right there...just waiting for me to ask Him for His help...and He is always faithful.  

I wanted to take a few pictures of Caleb and I's last night together, as just the two of us.  This was what you could find us doing on many nights :)
 Eating crackers, watching cartoons before bed

 Playing hide and go seek (after Caleb ripped a napkin into a bazillion shreds!)




 Playing airplane

 I know this is fuzzy but I had to post this picture because this is Calebs signature look...so funny.

 Trying to steal my glasses...
 Grabbing my face, wrestling...
Giving the sweetest kisses in the world.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you  for everything you taught me and my family during this deployment.  Thank you for keeping us safe and for bringing us all back together again to be a family.  Thank you for all of those who have sacrificed so much for our freedom and for the ones who never made it back home...all so that we can be free.  Thank you most of all that you gave Your Son to die on the cross for us so that anyone who believes in Him and professes Him as their Savior can be free from the chains of sin and can have eternal life with You.  
We love you so much. 
In Your precious and most Holy name, Amen.

12 comments:

Miles Makes 3! said...

Kathlyn! This is SO sweet. You are such a great example to all us military moms. I am ashamed to say I never had the attitude you had. It's hard not be bitter and miserable when your husband is gone and instead of wallowing in it, you gave it to God.

I am actually starting to get ancy because as we finish our "non-deployment" tour up in Germany we are getting shipped right back into the battle zone where we will face many more deployments. Your post is JUST what I needed to read today because this has been on my mind for weeks. Again, I can't say it enough, you need to be the billboard for all military wives to look up to. You are an inspiration! Thank you!

Kristen & Cliff said...

That was beautiful Kathlyn!!! So proud of all of you!!! Love you all and are just thrilled that your family is complete again!

mixed girl said...

Speechless. I'm in tears right now. This post moved me in a way I cannot explain. The way you express your faith and love for your family is just wonderful. I'm glad to hear your "best friend" is back! Hope you guys have many happy times together as a family again!

Robin said...

So happy he is home! Soon it will be me making a similar post on my blog! Were in the last 90 days! Congrats on being a whole family again!

Robin said...

So happy you have Seth home again. Soon it will be me making a similar post. Were under the 90 day mark! Congrats on havingyour whole family together again safe and sound!

Stephie D said...

Yep, totally in tears here! Way to ruin my happy mood this morning! (lol, no, I kid.) I'm sooo happy for you guys! Welcome home, Seth!

Rylie's Mama said...

What a sweet post! I know you're so glad your Seth is home but what wonderful memories you have with Caleb this year! Have fun with your husband finally home!!

JG said...

The "Yaaaaaaay!!!!' Just doesn't stop! So glad you two are together again. And thanks so much for sharing this. The phrase "beauty out of ashes" comes to mind; war and separation and loneliness are so scary, but what Satan intends for evil, God intends for good, and your testimony is proof of that!

Aubrey said...

Sweet post!!! I'm sooo happy for you! :)

Kristan said...

Beautiful post! I read it through tears.

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

This is such a sweet, sweet post. I have tears in my eyes. I am so happy for you and your little family!

Stephanie@BarefeetOntheFrontPorch said...

I'm trying to get caught up on posts and I just wanted to comment....I'm so glad Seth made it home safely! I knew there was a group coming in and was wondering if he was with them. Isn't it amazing the peace God can give you in the most difficult of circumstances?

And I HATE taking the trash to the dump! Seriously?! What kind of city doesn't have a trash service?!