Saturday, May 15, 2010

Loving my hubby

My hubby has been on my mind all day today.  Don't get me wrong, I think about Seth all the time and I miss his constantly, but today I have missed him a lot more than any other day since he left. 

 I have been thinking about what our lives will be like when he comes back home.  I just miss the everyday life stuff with him.  Going to the grocery store, agreeing on what TV show we are going to watch, hearing him laugh about how even though our new house has twice the amount of bathroom counter space as our last place, I am still able to take it over, having a bad dream and waking up to find him beside me and being able to go back to sleep, playing with Caleb together, taking turns changing diapers, teaming up to get the house clean in record timing, having long discussions about what our future holds while we eat dinner together at the table as a family, spur of the moment car rides to the mexican restaurant for dinner, ordering in pizza and renting a movie....

It is amazing all the little things I miss about him when he is gone that I never even realized I enjoyed. Maybe I have been thinking about him more than usual today because I have also been thinking about several people I know who have been through one, if not more divorces and they are still so young.  It breaks my heart when people don't take marriage seriously and in turn, their marriage ends before it even had a chance to begin.  Obviously, there are extreme cases when divorce has to happen but I am talking about the situations when people just don't "feel" in love anymore.

Marriage is not easy...and hopefully no one ever told you that it would be.  There are days when married people just don't get along and you might even have a day, or several, where you question your relationship and you don't "feel" all lovey dovey like you did that first year you dated.  But ultimately, you have to keep your mind on why you fell in love with each other in the first place.  You can't change your spouse but you can change yourself. I started reading the book "Love and Respect" and I am understanding a husbands need for respect and a wife's need for love...if any of you have read it, I would love to know your thoughts...and if you haven't read it, maybe you can read it with me.

I wish our society could see the union of marriage as so much more than what it is viewed as.  Marriage is incredibly important and is the most serious commitment you could ever make to another person.  Too many times, divorce is the first answer to marital issues... but if divorce is the answer, why do so many people end up divorcing several times?  It takes both husband and wife, working together on a daily basis to make a marriage succeed.

I am by no means a marriage expert but I do know that marriage is something we should all hold in high respect and if we keep God as the center of our marriage...we can make it through anything together.  I encourage you to encourage others in their marriages.  We can all use all the help we can get, right?


With all of that being said, I have really been reflecting on my marriage.  I am remembering all of the things I love about Seth.  In the midst of everyday life, especially when kids come into the picture, all of the "good" traits about my husband can somehow hide themselves in the deep corners of our home.  I am really good at pointing out all of Seth's "flaws" to him.  Since he has been gone, I have come to realize that our marriage could be so much better if I could be the wife I need to be. Instead of tearing him down and criticizing him, I should try to find the good in every situation.  
It drives me nuts that Seth always puts his dishes on the counter right on top of the dishwasher instead of in the dishwasher.  I have asked nicely, I have yelled at him and I have even taped notes to the counter that say "DO NOT PUT DISHES ON THE COUNTER!" but nothing seems to work.  Instead, I can be thankful that I have a husband who cares enough to even bring his dish into the kitchen after dinner.  He has been at work all day, a lot of days he wakes up at 4:30am to make it to PT- what is the big deal if I have to load the dishwasher?

That is just one example among many.  I am realizing though that it is not always Seth that is the problem, although a lot of days it is so much easier to blame him for everything than it is to point the finger at myself and admit that maybe I have made a mistake or two..or three or four...

I truly love Seth so much.  He really loves me too...he waited for me for 6 years!!!  He still loved me even when I hurt him so badly and he stuck around and married me anyways.  He is a great dad to Caleb, he loves him so much and misses him right now more than I will ever be able to understand.  He hates that he can't see him take his first steps and that he can't hear him say new words every day... but this too shall pass and he will be home with us again.  
He loves his country too, he really does.  He has a great heart and he is always looking for ways to help other people out.  I love his heart and his character and his honesty and practicality (especially when I can totally get wrapped up in fantasy land!).  He is so smart and funny in a quirky way and did I mention that he is extremely good looking?  Okay, okay...maybe some of you are gagging at this point because I am being so mushy but can you tell I love my husband?  If you love your husband too, reach out and hold his hand today and let him know and maybe even throw in a good compliment or two and end it with a big smooch :)

We can do this :)

8 comments:

The Mrs. in Stilettos said...

I loved this post and I love how you really touch on what is important! I also love all of the pictures! I follow you and I love reading your posts but just reread your about you section and saw that you also have your degree in Fashion! It's hard to find anyone that has a degree in Fashion, Merchandising, and Business as well!

Sarah said...

I agree with you 100%. I wish that everyone was serious about marriage instead of resorting to divorce. It breaks my heart to think of couples divorcing over something petty. And you are totally bringing me to tears. I so know what you mean about yelling at my husband for not doing something or doing something that annoys me. It really doesn't take much effort for either of us, but he's the one doing the harder work. My hubby is deploying in almost a month, so I'm taking every chance I get to be mushy. =) I'm lucky I have a husband who actually tells me his feelings and is all mushy.

Angela said...

What a wonderful post! A great reminder for all of us in relationships :o)

Lisa and Josh said...

Perfect timing for this post...it made me cry, and miss Josh even more (and we're only apart for 2 months...if he makes it on the first try). I am dreading our upcoming deployment...don't know how you're making it through! Thanks for this post, and I definitely want to read that book!

Kristan said...

I'm in tears for you. I can't imagine having to miss my husband like that for such a long time. Bless you!

It is interesting because I was thinking and blogging about marriage and my husband and husbands in general for the last week or so as well. Maybe God is telling us something: That even though society places very little emphasis on the need for husbands and dads we need to share the Truth and show just how importent they are not only back to society, but to our husbands as well. Imagine how they must feel when everything going on around them in the world belittles their role. Military men have it two fold in that their jobs/passions are being undermined. Great post!!!

JG said...

This is so sweet! So much truth in what you said.

Not much time at the moment, but we are here in Columbus now. We will so have to hook up in the next couple of weeks (once I get everything put together!)

a little green birdhouse said...

Love this post. Beautifully written. And such sweet pictures!

Jessica said...

My husband and I went to a "love and respect" conference at our church. I wonder if its the same book?