Monday, January 4, 2010

Can't Sleep!!!

It is 4:50am and I can't go back to sleep! Seth already left for work.  He has a 3 week class that starts today and he had to be there at 5:15- talk about a huge change of pace after being pretty much off of work since almost the beginning of December!  I haven't had to think about the dreaded months ahead of us because we have had so much fun together, but now reality is setting in.  Seth will be deploying very soon and I am just not ready.  I don't think there is any way to ready yourself for deployment, but I am just reallllllyy not ready one little bit.  I am really good about not thinking about things if I don't want to, and that is exactly what I have been doing.  Now, with Seth at this 3 week school that he hopes will prepare him even more for deployment, things are getting serious and I realize that in just a few weeks he will not be around.  The hardest part is knowing that he won't be around to see Caleb take his first step and say his first words.  We are going to buy Seth a net book with a camera in it so we can hopefully skype.  I can only pray that Caleb will still be able to remember Seth when he comes back home.  I knew this day was coming, I was just hoping that maybe, for some reason, it wouldn't.  We just moved into our house and we still don't even have blinds up yet.  There are so many things to do before he leaves, and at the same time we are trying to spend as much time as we can together as a family.  We already had the security system installed.  Seth and I both agreed that since he was going to be gone, a security system was a must have.  But I am still a big scaredy cat (afterall, I just joined the fan page on facebook called "I don't hang my feet over the edge of the bed, I am afraid a monster will grab it")  Last night Seth tossed and turned so much that neither one of us could sleep.  Then he had to leave at 4:30.  I am already tired and the day hasn't even really begun yet.  I had planned on going to aerobics class at our new (and amazing) church we have been going to.  I am just not sure if that will happen or not.  Anyways, I just needed to get this off my mind.  Maybe now I can go back to sleep for a couple of hours.  Besides this, our new year has been a great one.  Something about knowing your time together is short changes everything.  Happy Monday everyone, hopefully you all got more sleep than we did!!! :)


Kristen & Cliff said...

Now I'm crying along with you =( I wish I could do something to help you out. I will call you this week to catch up.
Love ya!


Im praying for you, I know it will be hard but it will make y'all stronger and there is no doubt in my mind that little Caleb will remember daddy...just constantly point at pics of will all be ok...I know you are scared worried most of all sad but I also know you are strong and a determined woman...maybe try setting deployment goals...I know a lot of women who do that :-) love you!

Miles Makes 3! said...

Oh no! So sorry to hear he is deploying! This is the worst part about being a military family. Brad have been through 3 of them now.
It's probably one of the hardest things a family can go through but take peace in knowing that it does get easier as the months go by. You start to think "hey I CAN do this!" "I'm gonna be ok afterall!" Then before you know it- it's countdown time.
How long will he be gone for? Do you know where he was going?
All 3 of Brad's were 7 months. Blah! I'm so anxious to leave Germany but then Brad keeps saying "why are you rushing? It only means I go back to deployments."
I'm here if you ever need to vent! :)

Robin said...

Hugs!!! Sorry you have a deployment approaching. The weeks right before suck! Paul Left for a year deployement the day after Christmas. So we have survived the first week. Its hard! The first day is the worst but it does get easier.

Kristin Rasmussen said...

I feel for you. My husband is also being deployed in Feb. I am so not ready. I am just trying not to think about it but I am not sure that is the right thing to do either.

Melanie said...

I know we don't know each other, but my husband is coming home in about 5 weeks from a 12 month deployment to Afghanistan. Our son was 5 months old when he left, so I know what you are going through! My husband Robert, made a video dvd of himself reading stories to Eli our son. Eli watches it almost every night before bed. Eli recognized his Daddy on R&R and it had to be the DVD, so that is maybe an idea for you guys. Just take it 1 day at a time.

EngineerHousehold6 said...

I feel for you. Tom had to leave for 11 months (from his R&R he had alreayd been gone 4 months) 8 days after we had Katheryn. It'll be hard (and expect him to not want to go to Seth when he gets back...though sometimes the kiddos run back).

Get him to read books at the base library onto tape for free (it's through "United through Reading"). We also got the kids Daddy Dolls that they slept with and carried around. We plan to get another one for Victoria and the new baby when he deploys again. They are really tough and can go through tons of washings. The webcam was also great (things are usually twice as expensive over there..just something to know). We were able to talk through Yahoo IM, but lots of my friends use Skype.

Remember to take it one day at a time. You CAN do this! You'll be in my prayers.

Lisa and Josh said...

I know how much you must be dreading the big "D". You guys are in our prayers!!!